Me and Mr. Dyson

We will never get close friends, Mr. Dyson and I. I am pretty sure of that!
Why? Well, he is the worst piece of vacuum cleaner I have ever used!
My girlfriend is attending an upgrade training course. Takes a full year!
To give her the time she needs for learning, I am going and buy all our consumables and clean the house. Means, if she is going to her course on Saturday, I clean the house, starting with brushing the dust of. After that, I get the vaccum cleaner out and vacuum.
When I first saw that thing, I thought: "Wow, she has a Dyson. Cool stuff!" But that euphoria has been damped after using it a couple of times.
It is heavy, loud and does not move where I want it to move.
I tried to make it more cooperative by lubricating the wheel axles. Didn`t help. Most of the time I must carry that darn thing where I want it to have. But still, it is somehow always in my way.
I start to believe that this thing has a soul and it has a preference to fret me!
I am a very calm person. Takes long to get me mad and. But this thing can drive me crazy within the first five minutes of use. Then our tenants can here me working.
:-)
I thought, if   I just don`t be so accurate by vacuuming the floors, I am get rid of that Dyson faster. But I soon discovered that this retaliates when I start wiping the floors. Dust is a nightmare!
And so I must deal with Mr. Dyson every Saturday, even if I hate him.
But I am doing this all for her. That my love has the time for her course.